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Prince rescues Snowwhite

JAN GERBER

An unknown Prince revived Snowwhite on Saturday, after she was incapacitated after overdosing on a poisoned apple.

The apple was laced with LSD. Police believes the apple was doped by Snowwhite’s wicked stepmother.

“I thought the apple tasted a little acidity,” said a relieved Snowwhite after the Prince revived her, seconds before he swept her away on his white horse to ride off into the sunset.

Snowwhite, the daughter of the late King Whatshisname, was kicked out of his castle by her wicked stepmother after the King’s death.

After wandering through the enchanted forest, she took lodging with the seven dwarves.

“We’re very happy that she’s all right,” said Grumpy, one of the dwarves.

“I told you that dope wasn’t mine!” exclaimed one of the other dwarves, Dopey.

Police believe the wicked stepmother plotted to kill Snowwhite out of paranoid jealousy.

“She told us a mirror told her that Snowwhite was the prettiest girl in the kingdom. So we believe she took copious amounts of the LSD herself,” said police spokesperson, Corporal Punishment.

“Let this be a warning to the kids: Stay away from drugs!” emphasised Punishment.

“I know nothing of this! How dare you accuse me!” hollered the wicked stepmother after she was apprehended by the police. “It was those wretched midgets!”

The wicked stepmother has been arrested on charges of attempted murder and the proliferation of illegal drugs. She is due in court on Tuesday. The Human Rights Commission is also investigating complaints against her for hate speech against the vertically challenged.
According to reports, all, except the wicked stepmother, live happily ever after.


This was an assignment for English for Journalists.